Funny Jokes for Girls
Here is a beautiful collection of Funny Jokes for Girls, extracted from the stunning collection of author ‘Harris Billigon’. Its whole attribute goes to the original author. Obviously, Funny Jokes for Girls is a very popular category of Funny Jokes because both men and women like the topic. These best funniest jokes presented here are only for the amusement and entertainment of our readers. So read and enjoy here these Funny Jokes.
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A beautiful girl, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven, though, they must go up 500 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh.
The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs.
Finally, it’s the beautiful girl's turn. She gets all the way to the 49th step before she laughs. God asks her, “You were so close, why did you laugh?” and she responds, “It dawned on me the first joke”
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A beautiful girl walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.
“How much for these shoes?” - she asked the store manager.
“$300” - he replied.
“That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” - the girl.
The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irritated when the girl persisted.
Finally, after arguing with her for a while he said, "There's a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don't you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!" - he yelled.
“Fine. I will.” - the girl replied.
After two hours, the manager got a bit worried that the girl might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her.
When he arrived at the pond, he saw the girl lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 7 other dead ones.
Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
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There was a girl who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the girl wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the girl could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the girl reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without saying a word, the girl handed him $5. then the girl asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the girl $50.
The girl put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the girl handed him $5.
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, the patrolman was astounded when to saw that the girl behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the girl yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
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Q: Did you hear about the girl who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
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A girl and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The girl bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the girl gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.” The girl said, “No. A bet’s a bet.”
So the redhead said, “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
The girl replied, “Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!”
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Three girls are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.”
“We don’t have any,” replied the first girl.
“Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses,” said the Game Warden “But officer,” replied the second girl, “we aren’t fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we’re collecting debris off the bottom of the river.”
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. “Well, I know of no law against it,” said the Game Warden. “Take all the debris you want.” And with that, he left.
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three girls started laughing hysterically. “What a dumb Fish Cop,” the second girl said to the other two.
“Doesn’t he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?”
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A blond was going to get her hair layered at the salon with headphones on. The lady at the salon said to take the headphones off.
The blond said, " No way, I would die if I did”.
The lady said “Whatever” and did her work.
Then the lady took the headphones off thinking it wouldn’t matter if she did. The blond dropped dead. The salon lady heard the headphones saying “breath in, now breath out” repeatedly.
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One day a girl felt like being a rebel, so she decided that she would drink and drive.
She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car.
After about 10 minutes of driving round and round, she got fed up, so she parked the car, got out and walked over to the cop car, looked at the cop and said, “Aren’t you going to arrest me?”
The cop asked, “Why?”
She replied, “Because I was drinking and driving!”
The cop looked at her in bewilderment and answered, “We can’t arrest you if you’re driving while drinking… water!”
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A girl gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.
He grabs the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 5-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“You rotten bastard”, says the husband, “my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!!”
